


He's Staying

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe-Everyone Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Harry, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, established relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 22:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Regulus has to do this, even if he knows it means he probably won't come back.  Lily makes him promise to come home when it's over.  If he can.  But he's never really trusted himself to follow through.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mxlfoydraco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxlfoydraco/gifts).



> I got sent [THIS](https://mxlfoydraco.tumblr.com/post/159278640893/fic-prompt) in an email, so it's based on that prompt, and Serra's tags because she was so so right. I think this was actually meant to be funny, but then it ended up being like...angst and sad because I am a disaster and apparently can't help myself. But yay more HP fic I guess. Haha. <3

Trembling fingers reach up, curled into a fist, knocking and knowing somehow he’ll be let in. Maybe not greeted with open arms. He expects the suspicion, expects the same rejection he gave just months before at school.

But the door opens, and hazel eyes stare out from behind black frames and thick lenses. “What are you doing here?”

Regulus chokes on his breath before he manages, “I want out. James I…I can’t do this.”

It’s all he needs to say. If it were him on the other side of the door, he might not have believed the person. Maybe if it was James. Maybe. Maybe if it was Lily. But he doesn’t trust himself to be as good of a person as James is. He doesn’t trust himself to be as kind, or willing to believe in the goodness of other people.

His only comfort is that he isn’t lying. He’s only here because he needs this. Because he’s certain he’s not going to make it out of there alive, and he needs to feel something good and _right_ from two people who had once promised to love him through this, if he could only choose the right thing.

Better late than never, he thinks as James pulls him inside.

It’s only seconds before fingers are in his hair, and there’s the hard press of stone against his back as he’s crowded up against the wall.

James looks different, kisses different. It’s only been a little while since they last saw each other. He can count the months between two hands. He can recall the heartbreak on James’ face when he told them he was not coming with them, that he was not brave enough to turn away.

The evidence of his cowardice is branded on his arm, but even as he tries to hide it, James lifts it to his mouth like his kisses can erase the evidence of the things Regulus took part in. Maybe not as bad as some, not as bad as so many, because he’s still young.

But the potential was there and Regulus isn’t sure he believes he was capable of turning away if there hadn’t been something worth turning away for.

“I missed you,” his mouth tells James, against his will, but he means it all the same.

Then his words are silenced, by firm lips, seeking, an almost vicious push-pull of a man who thought maybe he’d lost the first battle he’d truly fought for. Because James had fought hard for him.

Regulus is fairly sure there’s nothing in his body that would betray James. In the end.

“Lily’s in the bedroom,” is what James says next. Then he’s fisting his fingers in Regulus’ robes and tugging him down the hall.

Absurdly, all Regulus thinks in that moment is, _James is wearing Muggle clothes._

He doesn’t know why the thought occurs to him. He’s seen it before. The jeans, the shirts, the way they fit over his body more obscene and tight than anything that can be offered in the wizarding world. Maybe it’s just the evidence of James’ fascination with muggle culture, the way he’d wanted to be part of it in spite of never understanding it.

Once upon a time Regulus had accused James of being in love with Lily just because he wanted to be with a muggle-born so bad. Regulus had even believed this until he’d met Lily. Until she’d smiled at him and made him feel worthy of that affection, like someone who could and should be loved.

They both did that to him. They _ruined_ him.

He thinks this as James pushes Regulus onto the bed, into Lily’s arms.

They don’t waste any time picking him apart, shattering him until he’s crying out and begging and coming.

Then they piece him together again, with gentle caresses and kisses he’s done nothing to deserve, but knows he can’t walk this path until he’s got them.

Merlin.

His head turns when Lily whispers his name. He feels her hands in his hair, stroking along his scalp in a way only she knows how. James’ face is pressed against his hip, and he’s mouthing idly at flushed skin there. His fingers are digging into the skin behind Regulus’ knee, possessive in a way no one has ever been with him.

“You’re back for good, right?” Lily asks, just a slight hint of begging in her voice he doesn’t think he’ll ever hear again.

He swallows and can’t meet either one of their gazes. “I’m done. I can’t…I’m not going to do this anymore. But I…there’s something I need to do.”

James sits up, looks furious and terrified because he knows this was a goodbye suddenly. His hands are gripping, still possessive against Regulus’ leg. “Let us help. You can’t…”

“I don’t,” Regulus starts, and he takes a breath. “I need more intel, but I’m not going to keep it to myself. But I’m the only one who can do this and I swear, if I’m right, this will win the war.”

James’ face cracks and his mouth twitches. His voice is heavy with unshed tears as he says, “Are you coming back to us?”

Regulus wants to lie, and he wants to tell the truth. Instead he kisses James hard, tongue sliding in because it might be the last time he ever gets to do this. But he doesn’t have a choice, because he’s the only one who knows and the only way he can do this safely is if he does this alone.

“Tell Dumbledore I’m going to send a Patronus. Please, get him to trust me.”

James refuses, like the petulant child he can be when he’s not getting his way. His jaw clamps shut and he turns his face away. Lily touches Regulus on the chin, turns his face, kisses him softer, sweeter, then whispers, “I will. But when you’re done, come home.”

“If I can?” he asks.

She gives one, single nod. “If you can.”

They both know he’s not asking for an invite.

*** 

It all happens so fast, and there’s a piece of him which isn’t sure he’s not dead. He’s in hiding way too long, recovering from the potion. His birthday passes. He’s nineteen now, and he hasn’t seen the light of day in months. No word from anyone.

But he’s getting better.

He’s let out the night fireworks and shooting stars appear all over Britain.

His work paid off. He survived, and Voldemort didn’t.

There’s a note waiting for him, with an address in Godric’s Hollow.

He laughs, because it’s fitting.

*** 

The cottage is smaller than he expected, and he thinks maybe James has gone a bit mad being trapped there. But they’re alive and Regulus’ work paid off. No one died. He nearly did but…

Here he is.

He knocks. He stands on the doorstep and he knows this is the worst and maybe best surprise because no one apart from Dumbledore knew he was alive. At some point he’ll have to deal with Sirius, but he can’t think of that now. Because it’s going to come with screaming and hexes and years of pent up anger that he deserves flung his way because he’d been an idiot for so long.

He knows there will be forgiveness, but he can’t think about that now.

This. He has to do this first.

There’s a flicker of light in the back of the house. A lamp in the lounge flares to life, then the door opens.

James stands there, blinking like maybe this is a dream. He looks exhausted, and confused. His hair is worse than ever and there’s a funny smell about him, like…like old milk. Regulus sees past him at a pile of colourful toys on the floor and it hits him then. Sudden, like a sack of galleons upside the head.

“James,” he manages.

Then he’s pulled inside like last time, only James isn’t kissing him. He’s swearing and laughing and crying and touching Regulus all over like maybe he’s had a fever dream once or twice that involved Regulus, only to wake up and not find him there.

Regulus knows this, because he’s suffered the same. For so long.

James’ hands are real and then he says, “Say something, you stupid twat. Say something!” and he shakes him a little harder than necessary.

Regulus lets out a puff of air and then said, “She told me to come home when I was done. If I could.”

He’s pulled against James’ chest, and James’ large, long nose buries in the top of his hair and breaths him in and says, “It was you, wasn’t it? Slytherin’s locket. It was you.”

“I couldn’t…no one could know. If it was going to work, no one could know.”

“And you were supposed to die.”

“No one was meant to survive it. But I suppose I’ve defied odds before,” he adds, and James laughs and squeezes him painfully tight before pulling Regulus’ face up by the chin and kissing him.

The reunion lasts as long as it takes for Lily to come out. She looks a little angry, but mostly grateful, not nearly as surprised as James did. Her kisses are not as soft as they have been, but he takes them anyway, and just feels her for a little while.

“Thank you,” she says.

Regulus’ eyes fix on the toys again and he knows they’re not alone, and he doesn’t quite know if he’s welcome there to stay until James says, “Well, you can send an owl for your things tomorrow. We all need sleep, and since this is all over, I think we can move back to the city. Harry will like it there better, anyway.”

He doesn’t need to ask who Harry is.

*** 

It’s midnight, and the baby in the cot has woken now, and Regulus asked if it would be alright to get up with James as James prepared a feeding.

“He hasn’t fed at night for a while now,” James explains to Regulus. “But all this…this mess lately, he’s regressed. That’s what Lily calls it. I don’t understand it, except that he wants comfort and well…”

He gets it. Regulus gets it, too. He moves from the kitchen as James is heating the bottle, and he walks into Harry’s room. It’s small, but nice, and decorated with too much Gryffindor crap but he doesn’t expect less.

Harry’s not crying. The little baby, the spit of James in the centre of his cot with his dad’s brown skin and black hair and his Lily-green eyes. They fix on Regulus, not accusing, just curious. When Regulus takes a step forward, Harry lifts his hands and makes a grabby motion.

Regulus doesn’t know if it’s instinct or curiosity that has him crossing the room to lift him out of the cot, but he does, and Harry tucks himself into Regulus’ arms like he’s belonged there this whole time. He smells like a baby—a bit like dust, and milk, and mashed biscuit. But he’s soft and warm and easy to hold against his chest.

“Hello, Harry,” he says, and feels ridiculous and formal, but he’s never had to do this before. “I’m Regulus.” Harry pulls back to stare with his big eyes. The words just kind of tumble out as he says, “I slept with both your parents.”

Harry blinks at him.

“I’ll probably do it again too.” He swallows. “I’m sorry.”

It’s punctuated with laughter from the doorway, and James sweeping in and taking Harry from Regulus’ arms. “He’s impressionable, like a sponge! Regs!”

Then Regulus is laughing too, and it’s maybe the first time he’s done that in months and months and it feels good but it also hurts. “I didn’t know what to say,” he defends.

They walk to the lounge and curl up on the sofa, and Harry takes the bottle and watches Regulus over it as he drinks it down in the warm cradle of his dad’s arms. Fatherhood looks good on James, like it was something he always should have been doing.

“He’s going to stick around,” James says, and for just a second Regulus thinks James is talking about Harry. Then he realises James is talking _to_ him. “This time, I’m not letting him go. I’m glad you like him, Haz. Because he’s here for good.”

Regulus smiles, and he doesn’t argue because as far as he can bloody help it, it’s true.


End file.
